“I’m a lover not a fighter!”. I remember when I was much younger, this phrase used to be used in jest at every little thing that was remotely related to emotions. Back then we know for sure that Michael Jackson was a poofter and when he sang and said that phrase, in a vocal duel against that Beetle singer, whose first wife was a donkey that eat carrot only and the second a dig gold with her wooden peg, John Lennon? Oops! No, his wife is a circus freak… Paul McCartney. Yeah! When MJ was having his vocal duel with PM, I really thought I saw MJ eyeing PM’s crotch. Hmmm…..
Those days were gone! I have mellowed (But I am not a poofter!!) and I see the world in a very different perspective. In fact I have given up on common thuggery, intimidation tactics & violent behaviour for a more mid-level approach to circumstances around me. This have gone on for some while now. And I am much happier.
I do not look at circumstances with a paranoid vision and have affirmed my stance that all people have good intention until proven otherwise. Though this type of stance may not augurs well for me in my line of work, but I rather live a peaceful existence than be in a constant state of "fear".
I endeavour to be logical and practice what I preached and preach what I practice…. AND I do preach a lot… 
My disappointment basically rest on the fact that human being are such a pain, possessing very little common sense and have no idea at all what they are doing in this world. They would indulge in all activities that would eventually inflict tremendous self-injury (both physically & emotionally).
I would therefore urge human being to practice my 5 basic mantra to achieve self actualization & peace :
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Be logical…. do not do unto others what you do not want others do onto you! What slug in a toilet sever would not understand this simple mantra… the worst kind, I presumed.
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Help yourself and let others help themselves and the world will be in balance! We lived in a biological system that is self-correcting. If you or others cannot help yourself or themselves, then you and they do not deserve to live as you or them are excess to this world. So! Get up from your Bum and get a life.
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Do not assume others are more well off than you in any way, just because your eyes tell you so…. pain, despair & suffering is not registered with the eye but with the heart… and no one have the pleasure to tell you their suffering. Do not practice envy at others well-being, you have no idea what is going on behind close doors.
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Do not compete for suffering! Instead attempt to achieve contentment. Better still do not compete at all in the emotional department, listen to others and try to bring comfort (there are reasons why people talk to you… and it is definitely NOT to compare their suffering or despair).
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Do not impose your will on others. That is tyranny! And one of the reason that donkey Blair gave to the Chilchot Inquiry for attacking Saddam is just that…. Saddam is a tyranny. So being a tyranny open yourself to be attacked justifiably or not!
There are of-course many, many other Mantras but the five above shall suffice at the moment for beginners that seek inner peace.
I have one thoughts that require deep thinking, I hope to see what all of you have to say!
The movie ~ "Primary Colours", starring John Travolta as a Democratic member vying for the right to represent the Democratic party in the election for the US Presidency ~ based loosely on Bill Clinton. As it goes, the movie ran over 100min with the battle of wits between all the respective Democratic candidates, the back-stabbing, the resolute attitude of the hero, etc, etc… and of course the Hero won. The movie ended with this sentence…. in a quite back room… the Hero said to his advisor, "We’ve won! So! What do we do next?". This makes me think.
MORAL of the story : It is obviously noble and demonstration of filial and maybe love that we may or could fight for peace, kill, maimed & destroy. We may sacrifice our career, family & even life. So then, we won! We got the “peace”! So! What do we do next? Tony Blair obviously did not think about that when he attack Iraq.
Everything will be back to Normal……. As if nothing have happened? Nothing will be learned from the battle and war. Human will be just as segregated, dispersed and isolated as ever!??!!??!?!??!
On a divine perspective : Why do you think GOD sent us through this wild goose chase? Giving us famine, war & disaster. The almighty obviously have a reason! And the reason is simple…. HE knows from the beginning that we are a "Crisis" family ~ Only to get together when there is a crisis. So! For HIS love of Man i.e. us, HE gave us a crisis to learn and repent. Unfortunately, I see not.
There would be people that could sit down and think deeply at what I have wrote… while there would be myopic short-sighted people that will be offended. There are even some that could brush me off as an irritating impossible bum that talk nonsense and waste people time. Which one are you?
Oh! I just hope that life is as easy as Ctrl+Alt+Del, the 3 finger salute, to reset!!! I would definitely have done things differently.
Making mistake is normal, everybody is fallible. Making mistake, acknowledge & learn from the experience, is intelligent and makes it acceptable! But to deny and to continue in the same direction, makes it intolerable & if it is with perfect knowledge that one have err but still refuse to change…. that is simply EVIL.
I have been using the internet since 1994, not long but long enough. The Internet then was about news from BBS & connection to it was met with the crackling sound of “beeeee…. booooo…..” 24kbps v.32 dial-up service! Blogging was about joining a neighbourhood in Geocities and knowledge of HTML is a definite must. Instant messaging was ICQ & all web-page are the static web1.0. But, then I was ecstatic at the wonderment of this technology. There was no Google then! Search engine was a battle between Lycos & Infoseek, I favour Infoseek terribly but unfortunately it disappear from the internetscape in 1998 result of some greedy Corporation, etc, etc. Yahoo only really came into the fore in 1998 after the death of Infoseek. Free web-based email? There was none until Yahoo & Microsoft gave us Yahoo mail & Hotmail also around 1998.
I can barely remember, jumping for joy after downloading an email without any interruption or dropped line! But back then, expectation was low & computers were one of those great big box that resembles a mini refrigerator running on X486 Intel chips, which cost me a bomb. So getting connected was a big achievement. Getting emails from family & friends was fantastic which makes you salivate thinking about the tonnes of $$ of postage stamps that you would save sending mail to London! Not to say I ever write a proper land-mail?
Nowadays, things have changed, everything is state of the art. From wireless connection that connects nearly everything including the refrigerator (that resembles the old generation computer) to the content of the web page itself. Everyone is talking about Web2.0 and the ability to connect even from the Space-Station floating 200miles about our head. Everything change, everything is wonderful, that is except for in Malaysia, the so called “broadband” connection is still only minute faster than dial-up AND I still would jump for joy when I managed to surf the net without any dropped line or disruptions. Sad but sometimes something just never change. Or is it that Malaysian really reminisce the past and feel that old is gold?
Take for instance! I am using Maxis Broad Band services. An internet service provided by supposedly the biggest telco in Malaysia. What do they give you for your hard earned money? 3Gb of usage at RM110 per month, which works out to be around 28Mb per Ringgit, which is steep in the modern world of internet pricing. No complaints since I made a choice to subscribe to their service. I could subscribe to their more incompetent competitor like P1 Wimax, Streamyx of TM & the numerous other small fry company, but naahh!
To make things worst, I managed to effectively connect to the World Wide Web only 20 of the 30 days of the month using Maxis services! Calling their customer care is a chore!! Their customer care would give all kind of “cock & bull stories”… “Sir, you have to re-install your dongle, change your USB port, change the computer, make sure there is no conflict in your IRQ”, etc, etc…. but never their problem. Even if Maxis is servicing their telco towers without informing their customers. OR worst! Oversubscribing customers and jamming their own available bandwidth. OR Maxis’s equipment is completely down & not working at all! It is always the customer tiny little laptop or desktop that is giving the problem to connect? Why?
I wish that Malaysia would change! Change for the better that is! I wish that we could get faster & stable connection, whether it is wireless, cable or by any other mean. I wish that the service provider together with the Govt can ensure that price is kept reasonable or at least commensurate with the service provided. Oh! How I wish.
As for the voice of the internet! Malaysia is deaf & probably mute too. Hope they are not dumb and kept us reminiscing the past.
11 January 2010 ~ 10 days into the new year armed with my resolutions. I am proud that wherever I go, sunshine flows. London misses me and grew terribly cold. I took steps to ensure that each & every one of my resolutions is being tracked and adhered to, so that “sunshine” will never fade in my life. When 2009 ends, I meant business to have a “New” Year, and this mean a new me, a new image, a new principal to life & a new train of thoughts.
The resolution that I set is meant to get me there. We shall then look at my first 10 days report card :
1. Keep fit & healthy
My weight is now 93kg. That is an amazing 3kg reduction from my Christmas weight. This must have something to do with not taking consistent meal? Sweetheart, please note that it doesn’t mean you are not feeding me. You are! You are!
2. To be happy and contend with my material wealth
Still working on it! 
I need more money!
3. To have a full life… get more friends
Does increasing the number of Facebook friends counts? If not! Then I need to get a life. In fact I need to get a life even in Facebook… friends count at the moment, only 24.
4. To read one novel every month
I am starting on Dan Brown’s “Lost Symbol”. Now I am on chapter I. Will I get it done in January? Speed reading is the answer.
5. Marry my sweetheart
Will she reject me? 
Let’s clear the first hurdle, deciding a date to propose : 14th February, sounds good.
6. To get work in something that I love
First choice is being a photographer! I have penned down a six months plan which will see me make it or break it. Do not laugh! At least it is better than someone I knew that wanted to be a dancer & he is a guy!!! Hah!
Second choice writer/blogger. I have no idea how I am going to put food on the table by being a writer/blogger. Hehe… maybe it will help with my first resolution.
Realistic choice will be get back into managing property development! I still love the work.
Maybe I can open a cafe! That is not a bad options considering that I have extensive contacts in restaurant businesses, does it count that I have a list of booking contacts for restaurants!? Yeah right! Maybe I should be the President of the USA too!
I am at a crossroad, a sign of impending failure. I better get back on track.
7. To travel to one destination every month
Destinations are not restricted to overseas locations. January destination will be Ipoh, Perak. If my schedule permits, only then will I made a quick 3 day dash down to Singapore.
8. To cure my OCD
At the current moment, no visible sign of improvement. I am stressed to death by the single dust speck that sits on my working desk & am still mopping my entire living room floor ten times a day! However, my determination to end all this strange behaviour have not diminish.
9. Not to judge people
Failed! I passed cynical comments of two different person’s personality and write them of my Chinese New Year list. This is a real work in progress that may take time to rectify. Heh! I got written off people’s Chinese New Year list too for my annoying traits of judging people, so its a fair trade-off. 
10. Get a cert for my skill
Photography class with Canon, this will help with resolution #6.
11. To pay attention & care about things that transpire around me
Failed! I am still living under my very own designer coconut shell. Let’s put it this way, Rome is not build in one day.
12. To be classy & dress in style
Yea! No more shorts & slippers. So far so good.
The year is still long, time is still on my side. I will work my resolutions thoroughly. There is never any doubt that I will break any of it. Hehehe We will see on the 52nd week of 2010. Meanwhile, how is your resolutions going so far?
In my journey around the world, I land in Britannia with its capital by the shores of Thames. Five million stayed, London its called. Hidden amongst the tenement lining the rubble streets of Great Russell is its depository vault of artefacts. Within it lies the loots of Britannia pillaging era. What took my interest was a small but significant tool that spells out the Love God’s achievement. Its a scale to measure man’s pride in its weight of gold! May we grab it in return to the Love God, to resurrect him to his dignified status.
What does you manly position weighs? Hah! My is fourteen once of gold! Not inclusive of the balls.
Every year around this time,
Men & women, gather for the sign,
They look at the past to cheer or to cry!
Have they arrived or still far behind.
I practise just the same,
Need to judge and find a blame,
As all my yearly goals are up in flame,
So I set new goals for the coming new game.
The new year is coming and here’s my aim :
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To keep fit and healthy for my conscious self;
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To be happy and contend with my whatever material wealth;
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To have a full life, by having more pals;
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To read a novel each two fortnights.
The four above is light, here’s four that’s tough :
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To propose and then marry my gal;
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To change my work to something I love;
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To travel and see destination not less than twelve;
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To rid myself of my OCD traits.
Since I have eight, let’s make four more :
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To stop my habit of judging people;
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To shore up my skill with a cert that’s real;
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To care for things that evolve around me;
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To be classy & dress in style.
By the end of the year around this time,
I will be back with my card,
Will I fail or will I be fine?
Let’s just wait till the end, now I ask please be kind!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I am so glad that 2009 is over, what a blasted year it was!
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